A one-sided IM conversation regarding the need to move out of the country for a job promotion:

<< can't you get a robot in there that does videoconferencing?
<< you could stay in SJ and control the robot.
<< no lasers tho
<< too dangerous
<< then again, they might do the lasers if they want you to stay badly enough
<< hmmm lasers.....
<< once you had the robot you could take over the entire company!
<< You could get even more lasers!
<< Then you could have minions.... with lasers!
<< Big frickin' lasers!
<< You're really not listening anymore are you?
>> no, but i'm laughing now

Find lasers on eBay.